Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ho Time is Neccessary

The title is interesting yes I know. I do wonder what you all think about it though. Anyway let's get to it shall we? 'Ho Time'. No, its not when you can slide through someone during a previously agreed upon set time and length. Its literally, wait for it.............The Single Era. That time in your life when you're young and dumb and THINK you're invincible. Its cool. I know you're disagreeing with me. Literally we've all done it in some shape, form, or fashion. So don't think that this is limited primarily to sex. It could be jumping from job to job, friend to friend, partner to partner. The list goes on and on. I like to think of 'Ho Time' as the period of time of self growth and learning. (I know what you're thinking. Why not just say that? Shut up. Have a seat and pay attention when grown folks talking.) I realize between the ages of 17-23 we as individuals go through so much growth, development, and learning about ourselves that some, not all, of us find ourselves looking in the mirror one day and ask, "Who am I?" Its during this time that we as a person must evaluate where we are in life, what do we want to do, how far can we go and is there a ceiling for ourselves to touch. Let's take a look at three major and critical areas that we hold ourselves accountable; Financially, Religiously, and Emotionally.

FINANCIALLY: This is the part that can be related to every person whether you're in the military, college or just working. Financially, how are you preparing for your future? What are your goals? Do you wanna be retired before 65 or work all your life to no prevail? Mind you some people unfortunately didn't make it to see 50. (R.I.P. Whitney Houston) And depending on your lifestyle some people don't live to see 25. (R.I.P. Young lives thrown away) So are you the type of person that as soon as you get your check you at the club popping bottles in VIP or are you the person who works just hard enough to be broke? Don't get me wrong when you're broke and ALL your bills are paid that's never a bad thing. Still, do you really wanna work your ass off just to have enough money to be broke? That ain't what 'The Life' is all about. In this time we should be sowing the seeds to financial freedom. At some point in your life you wanna be able to see your money grow even in your sleep WITHOUT doing something illegal. (Nothing against the hustlers of course) Take some initiative and actually strive to work in something that'll not only bring you prosperity but fulfillment. Pastor Marvin Winans preached this past Saturday during the late Whitney Houston's funeral, "Where in the Bible does it say God wants you to be broke? Who would even volunteer to be that way?" I laughed at the street translation of God saying, "Let's get money!!!" And remember God for the thugs too. Word to Trick Daddy Dollars!

Religiously: I'm not gonna spend much time on this simply for the implications that I myself can only speak for me. I do hope that the words I speak helps someone who reads this. Our walk with God is between us and Him. No one else can persuade you to do what you honestly do not want to do. Just know this. When you're ready for God know that he's been waiting for you even longer. And when he calls you don't be afraid. He's only using you to help others. Carry that with pride and dignity. Find out where you stand with God and I promise you you're life will be that much easier.

Here comes the juicy part........
Emotionally: During this time period as I said we find out soooooo so so much about ourselves. The mental and social development alone is hauntingly beautiful. Hormones are probably working even harder than they were in high school. (A daycare for teens by the way) Emotionally I suggest you take the time to be by yourself. I say this because if you don't know yourself how can someone else get to know you? And I mean the REAL YOU. Not the person you portray in the club. Not the person you are around the people you hang with. Not the person you are in class, at work, or around family. Just you. Plain old you. The person you see in the mirror after you've awakened and the person you are before you lay your head to sleep. That person needs to be comfortable with themselves before they can even hope another person can get close to them. We all have been with that person. Hell, we've been that person. Unsure of ourselves. Don't know what we want. Not sure of the people in our circle. Just the feeling that there is a lack of fulfillment in each and every direction. During this time we find ourselves regressing to the most basic and primal urge just to run away from that This part is the true 'Ho Time.' Some people will disagree which is understandable because sex is not as important to them as to others. Still, 'Ho Time', I believe is very crucial. Its during this time where you release ALL those lingering wants and desires that would plague a normal bond with another human being and cause more turmoil in your life. Understand that I am not, by any way, shape, form, or fashion telling you to go out and fuck everything that moves and if you are thinking that, then you need to go get checked. I say this because at this stage in alot of people's lives they look at themselves like what am I doing? This person isn't into me. They're not helping me grow. It even may let you know who real friends are. 'Ho Time' is not exclusive to just sex. It can be that time period when you are spending money out of control. When you're more involved in other people and not investing in yourself. And what happens every time when you realize this....those people say you done changed. Stop coming around. They can't fuck wit ya no more. Trust me your circle will get extremely smaller in a matter of months and if you're doing real good then a matter of days. Its that serious. Sam Cook said a change is gonna come and when you make that change I swear you will EXHALE. I ain't trying to preach but just know your days get easier and with each passing moment the strength to keep going gets stronger. The stamina to persevere increases. And those ruby colored glasses become clearer. That's my right hand to the Lord Almighty. Say word son. 'Ho Time' is the cocoon in which we as caterpillars are wrapped around in a blanket of negativity just to emerge with renewed positive energy, new life, a new you, and ready to tackle anything that comes our way. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. New and more blogs coming soon.................

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Condom Experience

Okay, so I realized that the most awkward thing to do in the middle of the night is buy condoms. This past weekend I was out with my roommates and during this time they realized they needed to re-up on condoms. Cool. So we driving, driving, driving and finally we reach our destination. Wal-Greens. One lemme tell you how I don't *bleep* with Wal-Greens for jacking up condom prices. How you gonna overcharge me for trying to make sure I'm straight and keeping the population in check?? But that's besides the point. So we go through this maze of *bleep* aisles that doesn't make sense, and its like a jungle in there. Finally, we make it to the aisle where they are located. So now here's the hard part.......PICKING THE *BLEEP* CONDOMS.

One, here are your only choices; Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyle. Lifestyle changes your lifestyle so I quickly advice them against that. Durex..........c'mon son. We grown out chea. So Trojan it is. Now Trojan has revamped their box that was the plus. Here's where things got messy. For years we've all been use to Trojan condoms coming in multiples of 3's right?? 3, 12, 24, and 36. Okay, so we get to the Miguel pack. (3) That's fine. Get to next size up and it comes in a box of 10.......WDDDA??? I can't even divide 3 into 10 correctly without it *bleep* up. No problem. I'm not the one buying the condoms so I'm not finna trip. Then it moves up and up and up. Here's where I have an issue. We get to the family pack.....THE WHAT!?!? Say that again!!!!! THE FAMILY PACK OF *BLEEP* CONDOMS!!!! What family you know needs condoms to share together??? I digress.

So after having that stunning revelation I realize there's like 50 types of condoms on the market right now. One this particular Wal-Greens ONLY sold magnums. I'm sure there's some underprivileged people out there who need protection. I digress. So...we get to the point where they have to choose which type of Trojan magnum condoms they are going to buy. We start with the original. Unfortunately the original brand of condoms ONLY COMES IN THE FAMILY PACK. Ironic right? So now there's Trojan Magnum Intense. I figured this particular brand was a merger brought by KY's Intense Jelly and figured cool. Then I started to wonder and advised them against it because I felt as if they wore it and were to have sex and bust a nut they would pretty much ka-me-ya me-ya whatever chick's *bleep* out of *bleep* existence and there would be a black hole where her *bleep* use to be. Plain and Simple.

Fire and Ice. Okay, so I figured Trojan had gotten there hands on the Icy Hot formula and decided that be a great idea to put inside a condom. That's fine. Here's were I think these guys would have an issue. Nothing against some people I just feel in the heat of the moment they'd forget how to put a condom on and that part that heats up would get on their penis and now they're burning not in a good way. Curse you warming sensations for making that prototype. So we move to Magnum Thins. Sure it feels right but nothing beats raw *bleep*. Plus Trojan has yet to fail but I feel like Trojan Thins will break because some people when they be *bleep* it's like WWE wrestling. And not the WWE we know now. I mean when it was WWF and Monday night was called Raw is War. Crazy I know right?

Afterwards we finally decided on a way to get a good report with all the brands...............we decided to get the......wait for it.......MULTIPACK!!! It had majority of the brands but unfortunately came in a pack of 10. We all had a good laugh about it, and they enjoyed themselves from WHAT I HEARD lmao.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What is a name??

This phrase has been in my head for quite some time now. As we know it, a name is an identifier to person, place, or thing. Basically, its the ultimate noun. But I wanna go deeper than its current definition so let's start with the basic function of a name. I'm thinking we'll achieve this by starting with children. Before we know anything. How to crawl, walk, read, talk, etc. We know our name. Before our parents are allowed to leave the hospital they must say I, the mother, and I, the father, hereby name this child and claim responsibility for them. And with that said we now, whether we like it or not, inherit a legacy that can possibly shape our lives and introduce us into hypothetical worlds of fame, fortune, intelligence, worth, determination, debt, misfortune, poverty, hate, anger, discrimination, and privilege. All of these things by a grouping of letters placed in a single order and allowed to be given to an individual who for a short amount of time is a blank state.

When a man gives the love of life his name she states and professes to him and the world that she willingly accepts any and every thing that comes along with it. Good or bad. Because it is not only his name that she must carry, but his father's name. His family's name. This is the name that she will pass on to their future children and the generations to come after them. You ever be out with your parents, and before you can even think about messing up your parents will say to you, "You WILL NOT go in here and embarrass me!!" or "DO NOT let these people call and tell me my kid(s) in here acting up." They could not fathom their name being associated with disorder, chaos, and everything that was against whatever reputation they had already established.

So again.....what is a name? Yes its identification. Yes, its reputation. Yes, it is association. But more importantly it is the "thing" that determines and defines us before we know anything about this world. More people in this life and this world will give up everything before they sully their "good name." For people their name is something that is as strong as their word. And without that what are you good for? What do you stand for? Does your name say you fall for anything or are destined for more? Does your name prove anything to the masses? What have you done to etch your name into people's memories so far? What does your name mean to you?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

God Might Be A Jerk

*Disclaimer: Remember these are my own personal thoughts and/or opinions and therefore I do not claim to have an insightful meaning to what I write. I only have a strong conviction to what I believe. I do enjoy debating with other intelligent beings whether they be male, female, child, or adult. In the meantime do enjoy a piece of my thoughts and I hope to hear yours*

There are a lot of good people with good intentions, dreams, hopes, ambitions, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. etc. But there might be an even greater number of assholes and jerks in this life that we live. People are quicker to kick you on the ground than they are to lend you a helping hand. Turn their back to you faster than they are to pick you up when you're laying face down on the ground in a pile of horse shit. Still, most people appreciate these same jerks and assholes because they feel that they are more realistic than what and are more honest with the world than most people are.

So what does this have to do with God you ask?? I believe that God might laugh at these things because I laugh at them. After all I am one of his creations. I may not be perfect but who is honestly? I like things that most people don't. I think kids getting beat in Winn-Dixie on the candy aisle is hilarious. When a blind person trips because they didn't see the bum laying in his own shit on the sidewalk tickles me a little bit. And I think God thinks its funny too.

I like to look at God as an individual who wakes up in the morning and thinks to himself "Hmmm, do I want the salad with fat free Italian dressing today? Or do I want the bucket of fried chicken smothered in brown gravy? I wanna know does God come to a fork in the road and instead of doing some divine act and splits himself in half to travel both roads he goes left. Not because he knows whats down the road but because he told you to go right and you listened and he thinks its funny that you chose the road less traveled.

I think God is crying from laughter every time someone farts in an elevator and walks out as the door is closing and leaves all those unsuspecting people in a cloud of the foul stinch of extra cheesy bean burritos with jalopenos and a glass of milk. When a white guy says the n-word and black people dap him up I like to think of God as someone who calls the white guy a "real nigga". I'm not saying He has to be dark I'm saying He feels like i feel. What the fuck are we trying to be PC for? We grown ass people, and grown ass people do as grown ass people does.

Like when hurricanes hit a particular town year after year I think God is either saying get the hell out of there or laughing at when they try to rebuild knowing he gonna do the shit again. God might be a jerk simply because we are. When lightning hits a tree, and the branch falls on someone's vintage car and they're crying over their baby God is like "ooops my bad"

I just find it funnny to think that way but who knows.....I surely don'

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What is the DJ?

*Disclaimer: Remember these are my own personal thoughts and/or opinions and therefore I do not claim to have an insightful meaning to what I write. I only have a strong conviction to what I believe. I do enjoy debating with other intelligent beings whether they be male, female, child, or adult. In the meantime do enjoy a piece of my thoughts and I hope to hear yours*

A few days ago I caught my self in a war of words of who was the best DJ representing my city. (I'm from Jacksonville, Fl by the way for those of you that don't know) and they seemed pretty upset that the major DJ's in our fair city did not do anything to support local artists or mainly just them. They got me to thinking though. How important is the DJ to hip-hop still? What is it that the DJ is doing to ensure that underground artists are getting heard? The burning question is what is the DJ? Who are they? What do they do? How do they live their lives? Are they the most interesting person in the world or just as boring as the people they live to please are?

To explain why all these questions let's start at the beginning. DJ is short for disc jockey. A disc jockey was formally some kind of personality for a radio show in the early days. Then grew to so much more. Some rose to fame through their syndicated shows, and edgy way of entertaining such as Howard Stern, Petey Greene, and Tom Joyner to name a few. But it was the birth of hip-hop that gave us the evolution of the DJ. Producing such legends such as Grandmaster Flash, Funkmaster Flex, Kid Capri, and the list goes on. Every generation has a DJ that defines them. Reflects what their music is about. Reflects what their city, culture, and spirit is about but still what is the DJ?

The DJ is as important to music as the barber and beauty shop is to the style of your hair. They are the party starter and the one who decides when it ends. (SN: Don't let the club fool you. Some DJ's got enough pull that they can keep going well into the morning if they wanted too even if its only one person on the dance floor) The DJ decides what music gets played, and what kind of fashion is in. They are the true hustlers. They are the A&R's, the managers, the promoters, the groupies, and sometimes worth more than the actual artist. The artist whether he or she wants to admit it or not is NOTHING without the DJ. For they are the real pimp and unfortunately we are their bitches. When they say this is the song you wanna go crazy about then that's the song we go crazy about. When they say you need to support this artist we go out and buy their cd's, download their songs and albums, and pay to watch them perform live.

The DJ laughs with us. Cries with us. Debates with us. Argues with us. The music industry is a multi-billion dollar entity with no signs of slowing down. As it evolves so does the DJ. They find new ways to scratch, fade, screw, chop, and mix our entire day into a rotation that made the worst day seem alright and the best day seem even greater. The DJ is the soul of Hip-Hop, R&B, Reggae, Pop, Rock, and all the in between. The first one to arrive and always the last to leave. While you hooking up with that person that warmed sweet lullabies in your left ear while your favorite song was playing in the right they're packing up their equipment and getting ready to do it all over again the next day.

What is the DJ? They are you, me, all of us. The cool kid. The person that gives you advice. And the one that completes your day and night. That is the DJ. Now what kind of DJ are you??

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Random Rants Vol.13: Disney Is For The Gangstas!!!!!!

*Disclaimer: My rants are not meant to offend, shock, anger, or even confuse you as people and more importantly as a person. Mainly used for comedic purposes and to give you my point of view of things. Yes, I am a litle demented, awkward, out of the norm, but what would this world be without people like me? Enjoy*

As you see in the title I have come to the conclusion that Disney is NOT for kids. Yes, I said it got dammit!! Disney movies ain't for kids. Disney movies are reflections of the lives of true gangstas and they've been profiting off of us for years. Oh oh so they put a couple of loveable characters in, add some catchy and memorable music, and that makes it cool?? Hell nah. Let's take a look at a couple of these "classics" shall we.

I'll start off the world's greatest story of how a nicca came out of the hood AKA ALADDIN!!! Now I know what y'all thinking. Wayne you done went to far!! Wayne you crazy!! Wayne I can't agree with you on this one!! Okay I'ma break it down. Let's look at "Aladdin" aka DJ Khaled. He ain't got no parents, no money, his only friend in the world is a monkey which you have to look beside the raspy cute animal talk and realize that Abu a crackhead. F**K IT!!! THERE IT IS!!! I SAID IT!!! Aladdin's best muthaf**king friend in the ghetto is a crackhead. Think about it. He down for everything Aladdin do, always stealing, and everytime you look around he scratching himself. Sound like a crackhead to me. Ok, so Aladdin in the ghetto, his only friend in the whole world is a crackhead, the guards aka "hatin a$$ police* always trying to stick him with something, but he also the chosen one. So let's fast forward to Jafar. Honestly, Jafar is what I wanna call an Uncle Tom who saw Roots and tried to move up in the world. Jafar see a real nicca in the streets whom we call Aladdin aka the Diamond in the Rough aka the chosen one and be like I'ma use this guy to do what I wanna do. OKay so I'ma lead you to the Cave of Wonders and I need you to get one thing and one thing only for me. The lamp. The lamp that also got a blue magical genie in it. Guess what?? THE GENIE WAS A METAPHOR FOR DOPE!! F**K IT!! THERE IT IS!!! THINK ABOUT IT. BLUE GENIE = BLUE MAGIC ON THE STREETS. Read between the lines folk. Aladdin was pushing that weight, had muthaf**kas throwing parades for him because he was like Nino Brown giving out turkeys and sh!t on Thanksgiving, and now he meets Jasmin who realizes after a magic carpet ride which is equivalent to he beat the pu$$y up, ate that monk up real good (Shout outs to the Two Fingers Crew), that he the thug she need in her life. And if Jafar ain't wanna be a b!tch about it he could've been eating too, but you can't have haters in ya camp. Aladdin figured it out and now he Prince of all Arabia. Praise Allah!!!

The Lion King
The Lion King had two important messages. The first one was a boy needs his father, but the most important message was for everybody that wants to know what happens when you got disloyal a$$ niccas that's close to you. Remember the first rule of trapping right after No Snitching, and Don't Get Caught. Keep ya friends close, and your enemies even closer. Now granted the niccas enemy was his uncle so how closer could you get right?? So Mufasa is the King of the Pride Land. That's his trap. He selling his dope, on top of it he got a bottom b!tch, he got other hoes on deck, and whoever don't like what be going on in his territory he take 'em out. That whole "The antelope eat the grass, we eat the antelope, and when we die the antelope still eat the grass" analogy for the circle of life is bull. Nah nicca Mufasa was a gangsta. If he ain't like you he came and took care of you hisself aka "going on the hunt". Everybody else got taken out by his army of killer b!tche$ known to the streets as "The Lioness." My dawg Mufasa was smart too got him a Jew on the payroll. Yeap, I'm talking bout the bird Zazu. Of course Zazu wasn't his REAL name. That was just something for the streets. So we got hatin a$$ Scar who we'll find out is a pimp in his own right in part two, and also made the hustler's anthem "Be Prepared". I'll give Scar his props though. He wanted Mufasa to know it was him that was taking over $hit. But see if you gonna take out an empire, make sure you ain't got incompetent niccas on ya squad that's always laughing about real $hit like muthaf**kas out here playing in the hood. So next Timon and Puumba. They on the payroll without even knowing they on the payroll. They just down for they dude and making sure he staight cause he young ya know? Teaching him how they got by and how he can get his own lavish a$$ oasis in the middle of the jungle. But you can't escape ya destiny because people won't let you. And sometimes you need trill O.G. a$$ niccas like Rafiki out there reminding you that you got $hit that belong to you. So Scar had to be taken care of. Either you part of the solution or part of the problem and if you part of the problem you need to be dealt with. Hakuna Matata to all my real gangstas.

What more can I say about Mickey Mouse that hasn't already been said about Frank Lucas?? I'ma explain to all y'all if you can't see where I'm coming from. Fantasia is the story about how Mickey is an apprentice to the game. His mentor has just did some ill $hit in the lab, and Mickey wanna see what he can do. So Mickey feeling himself a little bit after a few things go right. Okay cool. Now he forget that his skill ain't up to par, but he like "B!tch, I'm Mickey. The first ever Disney character. I can take care of some walking brooms." Nah Gucci. Be humble enough to know that you aint where you need to be at in your abilities folk. This was a lesson for all my gangstas to know to stay on they grind and to keep developing they talent. Once you do that you won't need to be in no more movies, and you just show up for all the big parades because we know who running the game ya feel me?

Anyways shout outs to all my Disney gangstas, all my Aladdins and Cinderellas trying to make it out the hood, all my Simbas finna take command of they "families", all my Arielles that want more out of life than whats under the sea, all my Mary Poppins aka single moms thats keeping they kids on the right path, and all my Tramps aka "Nice Guys" looking out for they Ladies. AND I'M OUT OF HERE!!!!

P.S. More Madd Swagg videos on the way, Fantasy Island 6 in the works, shouts out to the whole Xplicit Inc/Crossfade/DME movement.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Lucifer: Is he truly the devil or the left hand of God??

Disclaimer: This entry does not reflect my religious beliefs. I am a person whose curiosity sometimes leads him to think about even the darkest of issues, and therefore whatever interests me I must write, debate, and express my personal feelings about. With that said I urge you to read this with the clearest of conscience and if you should decide to debate this with me do so with an intelligent, non biased opinion.

Before you completely give me your thoughts, opinions, counter arguments, quoted scriptures, etc. based completely on the title understand these truths about me. I am a person whom blessed assurance has not hit yet. I do believe in life after death because to just live and die is utter disrespect to the entire meaning of our existence as intelligent beings. As any person I tend to be extremely afraid of death. Truthfully speaking I believe we all are. I mean seriously who wants to die? Sometimes this life is unbearable and cruel, but how many of us would give it up without a second thought or hesitation? But this is not the subject that attracted you.

As any regular person I tend to conspire and have my random thoughts, and this will probably be my most controversial random thought to date. Many of us believe in a higher power. We also believe that those who are evil and have lived a life of sin do not deserve the same existence in the next life as those who do right by God. All, if not, majority of us believe in Heaven and Hell. God and Satan. Still, for a being whom is an outcast by every monotheistic religion no matter what he is called could you see him as God's most reliable ally? My conspiracy theory is that could Lucifer strangely and oddly enough still be God's favorite angel? For someone who is "waging a holy war" he does all of the dirty work. I'm asking all of you that without bias, without assumption could you even fathom that secretly unbeknown to anyone may they be man, divinity, or whatever in between that he asked Lucifer to be his most hated enemy? To preserve the balance between chaos and order? To be the personification of what we perceive to be evil?

Honestly, to me it is genius. How mad would you be to make it to the gates of heaven and in the line were murderers, rapists, molesters, and every kind of sinner just walking alongside you into the kingdom of our Lord. Judgement and vengeance is the Lords' and His alone correct? So what if he made a place for all who chose to do wrong and chose his left hand to be the sword that would exact their eternal punishment amongst those that would do wrong in this life? History has shown us that sometimes killers and murderers are the unsung heroes in a story. Could Lucifer be Heaven's unsunge hero? How do you feel about it? This topic is highly debatable and I welcome the argument as long as you all don't take it personally. Trust that I am not a Satanist nor do I want to be. I just have my thoughts and tend to wonder about the possibilities.